Title: What if I lacked the Strength to Resist you?
By: Flo Wynn
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: incest, death, suicide, bad grammar and stuff because I am really tired.
Summary: Based around the ep, with the djinn. (What Is and What Should Never Be (aka I Dream of Genie))


Dean threw his glass of water against the wall. His family; his mom, Sam, Jess, and Carmen - all stopped their talking to stare at him with blank faces and it was as if the room was on pause; the water stopped dripping down the wall, people around him stopped breathing and held their poses. Then, like it always happened when Dean addressed issues outside the created reality - the colour faded from the room and the people disappeared into the grey backdrop of the warehouse in which his true body was dying inside. Sam stood in front of him, a concerned and confused look on his face. "This isn't the way it's supposed to be!"

"What do you mean?" the thing that was supposed to be Sam asked.

"You are supposed to be happy!" Dean cried out.

He had long since gotten over the real vs imaginary concept of it all. As far as he was concerned if he could bleed then it was real. He didn't want to go back to the empty, lonely reality where his brother was slowly becoming less and less human by the day.

"I am happy, Dean." Sam said.

"No. No you're not happy. You are a robot. God do you even fuck Jessica anymore? Beacause if you do, man you are doing something wrong!" Dean said.

The Sam-thing smiled the type of smile that kindergarten teachers give their pupils after a particularly dumb but endearing statement. "You know we only exist for you. There is nothing beyond us than what you see."

"Well I wanna see you happy." Dean said, sounding like a petulant child.

"What if she can't make me happy, Dean?" Sammy said, sounding broken and so fucking human like he hasn't sounded in months (days in the real world). It makes Dean's breath stop and his heart stutter in his chest.

"What.. what do you mean?" he asks, although there is a look in 'Sam's' eyes that almost makes his take back the question. But he can't make it unsaid.

"You know what I mean. Jess can't make me happy Dean. But you can." And then Sam is moving forwards, the background is changing again and they are back in their mother's dinning hall but it is empty and late at night. The smell of extinguished candles lingers in the air and Dean can feel Sam all around him, pressing up against him, holding him close, breathing into his mouth as they share a kiss that threatens to tare this 'reality' apart.

"No... this is wrong. I don't want this." Dean pushed Sam away trying to clear his head. Sam snuggled close - they were both suddenly naked and Sam's mouth was warm on the back of Dean's neck, nibbling and tasting. Dean moaned - it felt so good and since his realisation that Carmen wasn't real sex with her had felt almost pointless.

"Except... this is my reality, right? Created out of things I want? I desire? Like I wished for Mom never to have died and that was the first reality... and now this. So I mus... I must want this." Dean reasoned out, like a child trying to understand how 2+2=4. The thing that was Sam smiled at him, an enigmatic smile that answered nothing.

As Sam took Dean by the mouth, ravaging him and turning his confused mind to a mass of pleasure and want, Sam of the reality found Dean's body, already a corpse hanging from the ceiling in the warehouse. His throat was sliced open and his wrists were slashed down the main artery the way most suicidal teens don't know to do. His face is pallid and grey but his eyes are so alive and are frozen in a look of pleasure that, teamed with his corpse, make Sam throw up on the ground near the body.

The next time he looks up he is in the apartment he and Jess shared at Stanford but there are differences. When he looks around the room he doesn't see any bras or abandoned panty-hoes, there is no teddy bare on her side of the bed and no jewellery on the vanity. Something touches his skin. He turns around to see Dean, alive and well and sexy as hell. Dean smiles.

"Dean? What the Hell!" Sam says but Dean puts his finger to Sam's lip and mutters 'susshh'. Then Dean's tongue is battling his own in his mouth like all of Sam's teenage wet dreams and it feels so good. He can barely believe it so he opens his eyes to make sure it is really happening but with a gasps he makes a decision to ignore the way Dean flickers as if he doesn't really exist and keeps kissing him, this thing that is pretending to be his brother.