Title: The Choice
Author: agt_spooky
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings: incest
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A post-Scarecrow fic.


Hold me, Sam...

Hold me, Sam...

Hold me, Sam...

The words bounce and tumble inside your head until you can swear you hear them echoing inside the car.

You ache to reach out and touch him, to reassure yourself. But you're too macho, too flippant for that.

Aren't you?

So instead you clench your fist on the leather seat, nails biting into your palm, as the Indiana town disappears in your rearview mirror.


The motel room door opens and closes. Bags are dumped carelessly on the floor and jackets are shed.

Then he's pulling you to him, wrapping you in his embrace. You clutch at him, hands fisting in his shirt. Hot tears prick behind your eyes and you blink furiously to keep them at bay. And fail miserably.

Your breath hitches in your throat as the first tear breaks free. "I-I thought you..." Then a small sob escapes and you're burying your face in his shoulder.

"Shhh...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

One of his hands strokes up and down your back as the other cradles the back of your head gently.

Then you're looking at each other. And remembering.

Your lips meet softly. And it's four years ago. Four long years ago. When you first touched each other, had that first, fumbling kiss. A kiss that became a goodbye.

Clothing falls, pools of color on the worn, cheap carpeting.

Hands. Mouths. Flushed skin. Soft, panting breaths.

The mattress is thin and the sheets scratchy under your back. His weight is pressing you down, making you feel safe and protected.

You close your eyes and let him take control, like you know he wants. Wants to make up for his hurtful words. Wants to show you he didn't mean them. Wants you to know you belong together, not apart.

His mouth and fingers roam over your chest, tracing over every scar. The roadmap of your life since he left. Left you to deal with your father and his quest, all alone.

"Don't do this, Sammy, please..."

"I have to, Dean. I have to get away from this life. It's destroying me and it will you, too."

You knew that, but did you walk away? No. How could you? He was all you had, then.

Hands. Mouths. Flushed skin. Soft, panting breaths.

"I love-I love you..."

He's touching you now. Stroking, stroking. Driving you higher and higher. Your vision grays, you see stars, you tumble over the edge.


You're being held in warm, strong arms. He would never let you fall. You open your eyes.

He kisses you gently, smiles tenderly, and tells you to sleep. He'll be right here.


The soft, morning light filters in through the thin curtains.

He's leaning over you, places a kiss on your forehead. He looks down at your bodies, sits up, looks at you.

"I can't do this anymore."

In the span of five words your heart stops, your body goes numb and you forget how to breathe.

You don't move, don't speak, but your eyes give you away.

His jaw drops and he quickly reaches out to touch your face. "Oh god, no, Dean, no. I'm sorry, I didn't mean this...us..."

Your heart starts beating again, you take a breath and swallow deeply. You reach for his hand and squeeze.

"I mean hunting, Dean. I can't do this anymore. And I want you to stop, too."

You shake your head. "You know I can't do that. And I can't believe that you want to quit now, after what it did to Jess. And Dad..."

He explodes. "Dad! And just what kind of father has he been? Look what he's done to us! Our lives aren't our own. They're his. But I'm taking mine back. And I want you, to."

You try and stand your ground, but your words sound hollow now. "He needs me. Us."

"No, he doesn't. Haven't these last few months proved that? And his phone call three days ago? He's going this hunt alone. And we need to let him."

This time your voice is firm. "How can you say that? It killed Mom, it killed Jess..."

His voice is soft. "Yeah, it did. But nothing will bring them back, Dean. Not even hunting down and killing it will. They're gone."

He lays down beside you again, hand on your chest. He touches the pendant, the protection he gave you before he went away.

"Leaving you the first time was the hardest thing I ever did. But the second time nearly killed me. Watching you drive away, the hurtful things I said...Don't you see? He keeps doing this to us, tearing us apart."

He raises up to look at you. Green eyes so full of love, of wanting.

"Please, Dean. Please. Walk away from this with me. Start a life we can call our own. Have the home we've never had. Together."

Your father or your brother. You love them both. But one turned you into something you never would have become, while the other offers something you've always wanted, deep inside.

"You know it won't be that simple. It was next to your crib, Sammy. Not in my room. Then it took your girlfriend, not anyone I knew. You're connected to this thing."

He nods. "I know I am. And I know it may come after you next. But my dreams...I won't hide from them like I did with Jess. I'll be ready. But I need you with me."

His hand is on your face. "Will you be?"

You breathe into his mouth as you lean towards him. "Yes..."

The choice is made.

The kiss is long and deep and tender.

The strength of two...the power of love. Together, we're invincible.