Title: What Is
Author: Jedi Princess Clarrisani
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG-13 (some language)
Spoilers: Season 2
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Summary: This is set during season 2, episode 20 "What Is, and What Should Never Be", just after Dean returns from the fantasy/dream world. This is really a missing scene drabble more than a fic, but anyway...
Warning: Wincest. If you don't like that much brotherly love, keep clear.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the guys. Be nice though.
A/N: My first attempt at Wincest. If anyone can think of a better title, let me know!


It had been more a nightmare than a fantasy. Sure the djinn had given him so much – his mother, a hot girlfriend, his wish of Sammy being innocent and Jess still alive – but he had hated the gap between himself and his brother. It just wasn't right, not talking to Sam. Not being able to swap stories, go out for a beer, discuss women (and Dean's supposed obsession with them), or to go out hunting.

No, this Sammy was different, and Dean felt differently for him. There was really nothing there. Sure he still felt the older brother protectiveness, but it wasn't the same. This Sammy didn't need looking after like the other. This Sammy was successful, making Dean the black sheep of the family. Didn't surprise him, really. Hunting had always been Dean's natural talent; anything involving brains and school had been Sam's.

Yes, the feelings for this Sam had been strictly platonic. He just didn't feel the same. Even when Dean had taken him hunting, there was no flare, no tension. The chemistry just wasn't there, and he could sense it.

He stared into this fake Sam's eyes as he clutched the dagger tighter, Dean gritting his teeth and ignoring those around him. Ignoring everyone but Sam. Outside of this world that was all who existed. Just him and Sam. Ignoring all their pleas for him to put the dagger down and stay, Dean let out a readying breath and drew back the knife, plunging it into his chest.

For a brief moment there was pain, Dean feeling the blood spilling from his lips as he heard Sam cry his name. He jolted as the pain spread, threading through his whole body. He then became aware that something was different. He was bound, arms tied above his head, his body feeling lethargic like he hadn't slept for a very long time. He realised instantly he'd made the right call in killing himself, as he was free of that fucked up wrong world.

Hearing his name again, he fought to get his eyes to work properly. It took him half a second to recognise the blurry shape of Sam approaching him, sheer panic on his younger brother's face. Sam reached out, checking his vitals before gently shaking him further back into consciousness, begging him to wake up.

Dean forced himself to focus fully on his brother, the last of the dream world fading behind him as he met his brother's eyes. This was his Sam. He could sense it, see it. This was the Sam he knew, this Sam he had shared so many adventures with. The Sam he endlessly tormented and pranked, Sam giving as much as he got.

Seeing the panic in Sam's eyes, Dean knew he had to say something to let him know it was him, that he was okay. Letting out a long breath he fought back the tiredness. "Aunty Em. It's no place like home."

"Thank god." He heard the relief in Sam's voice, Sam gently touching his face before reaching to his neck. "I thought I lost you for a sec."

A wave of guilt swept over Dean as he remembered just how tempted he had been to stay in the world. The djinn had set things up good, giving Dean almost everything to keep him there. But if he had stayed, this Sam, his Sam, would have been alone. Gazing around, Dean couldn't bring himself meet Sam's eye as his brother tugged at something in his neck. "You almost did."

Sam pulled the needle free, looking at is in faint disgust before tossing it aside. "Let's get you down."

Dean closed his eyes, fighting back the exhaustion and pain as he felt Sam reach for his bonds. Next time he was definitely not going to face a djinn alone. It had been said he and Sam worked better as a team, and Dean knew they were right. He'd almost gotten himself killed. He and Sam were all they had left, and he just couldn't leave Sam alone. He'd do anything for Sammy, just as Sammy would do anything for him.

Dean made a mental note to tell Sam everything once they'd gotten away from here. The dream, his feelings, everything. No more lies. They'd lied to each other enough.

As Sam cut his bonds, Dean open his eyes to gaze out over his brother's shoulder. He blinked, frowning at a movement and forcing himself to focus. Seeing shining blue eyes moving out of the darkness, Dean realised that Sam was so absorbed in freeing him that he hadn't noticed the djinn approaching yet. A wave of panic washed over Dean as he stared at the creature.


Sam glanced at him briefly, then swung around and spotted the creature. Dean could do nothing but watch as Sam attacked, stabbing at the creature that skilfully ducked back and away. The creature grabbed Sam, pinning him against a wall and forcing him to drop the knife.

Dean pushed all sense of exhaustion back, using every ounce of strength he had left to tug hard at his remaining bonds. He'd just gotten Sam back; there was no way he was going to lose him. The djinn would send Sam to that perfect world, and the temptation of their mother and Jess might just be enough to convince Sam to stay and Dean would lose him forever.

With a lurch the rope broke free, sending Dean plunging to the floor. He looked up to see that the djinn had Sam pinned down on a staircase, to see that flash of blue energy as the creature prepared to send Sam into the fake world. Diving across the room, Dean snatched up Sam's dropped knife and plunged it into the creature, twisting the blade as he vented his anger. No one was going to take Sam away from him. No one.

Tugging the blade free, he watched as the djinn collapsed to the floor, the light gone from its eyes. Dean let out a long breath, his limbs heavy as he wavered, fighting to stay on his feet. He turned, raising his eyes to look at where Sam was still sprawled, breathing hard on the steps, relief and thanks still on his face.

Letting the knife drop, Dean moved to his brother and offered him a hand up, Sam accepting it and allowing himself to be pulled upright. For a long while they watched each other, Sam fighting to regain his breath as Dean felt the drugs slowly dissolve and wear away.

Unable to contain himself, Dean reached up and caught Sam's face in his hands, dragging his lips down to his. He'd blame the drugs and exhaustion later, but right now he just needed this. It was something he had always dreamed about – forbidden dreams – that he had denied to himself in the morning.

Dean was sure that had the djinn made that fake world different, made it so he and Sam were together, Dean would never have left. That was what had felt so wrong, not being close to his brother, knowing they'd never have those little moments he cherished so much.

Drawing back, he saw the stunned look on Sam's face. He expected Sam to shove him away, or to start telling him he wasn't well, but all Sam did was stare. Dean was so damn sure he saw lust in those dark eyes, and that was what caused him to lean in for a second helping.

He was slightly surprised when Sam's lips parted under his, Sam's arms moving and pulling him closer. Dean let out a soft sigh as he found himself in a battle for the control of the kiss, tongues duelling as Sam moved closer, spinning Dean so that Dean's back was pressed to the wall.

Dean's fingers shifted the clutch at Sam's shirt behind the neck, holding him in close as Sam leaned against him, using his height to his advantage as he successfully trapped Dean in place.

They broke the kiss, eyes still closed and foreheads together as they fought to regain their breath.

"If I'd know that would be your reaction," Dean said, "I'd have done it sooner."

"Why didn't you," Sam breathed, kissing him again.

Dean blamed his exhaustion for losing the battle and allowing Sam control, making a mental note that when he was better he'd pin Sam down and ascertain his dominance. He was older and more experienced, after all, so it was only fair.

Something flashed across the back of Dean's mind, the face of a young, helpless woman in white. Remembering where they were, Dean broke the kiss, reaching around to grab Sam's jacket and keep Sam from kissing him again.

"There’s a girl," Dean said. "The djinn had a girl."

Sam blinked, staring at him in a daze for a moment. Dean felt a small amount of smug satisfaction at the thought he had done that to his brother. Swallowing hard, Sam nodded. "We'd better go find her then."

Dean slapped Sam gently on the chest as his brother stepped back, a silent 'to be continued.' Sam shot him a small smile, one Dean was more than happy to return as they went back to work.